Happy Birthday to me!

I’d ask you to sing along .. but I’m a little peeved on this milestone.

I’ve never looked better. I’ve never been smarter. I’ve never made more money. I’ve never been happier, nor more fulfilled. Yet Phil Spector thinks its game over for people like me .. women over 40 in the public eye.

What the hell..??

Its been eating away at me since the fall, when perhaps the most ridiculous mistrial EVER was declared.
Phil Spector, the wilting, has-been record producer who played host to a good old fashioned head-splattering in his creepy Al Hambra Castle, walked out of a California courtroom a free man .. for now.

The jury in his trial for the murder of Lana Clarkson was hopelessly hung.. thanks in large part to a certain juror #10, a boastful know-it-all and bully from the west coast.
This juror bought Phil’s defense … hook, line, and sinker, and pressured one other panelist to see it his way.

The defense..?

That a beautiful 40 year old B-actress might as well “jump off a bridge and end it all now if she hadn’t made it in the biz by 40.”

I, myself, laughed when I first heard it … then was uncomfortable when I next heard it.. after that I was just plain nauseated by its constant repetition.

Phil told us all that Lana Clarkson simply shot herself in the head after an evening with him in his lair. She was sitting at his front door, poised to leave, her purse slung over shoulder, her false eyelashes already peeled off for the night. She’d finished a long shift at The House Of Blues, and was trying to end an awkward late night date with the crypt keeper himself.

Sound implausible?

Wait .. there’s more.

No fewer than 5 women were hauled onto the witness stand against their will to tell sordid tales from the last three decades of near identical stinker dates with the scare-crow. Each evening ended the same way. The women were trapped in a chair, near an exit, staring into the barrel of a gun. Phil Spector, himself, was drunkenly wielding the weapons, like Elmer Fudd with too much Tequila and Steel.

I’m no expert, but in the case of Lana’s death Phil’s yarn was BEYOND absurd. It was the proverbial slam dunk for the prosecution.

And yet, perhaps in homage to OJ, juror #10 was on board with the defense.

Millions of Californian dollars later, we are awaiting round two in the prosecution of this loose cannon.
Given the outcry after the case, it is doubtful that Phil’s lucky break will be repeated. But I have a tip for his new defense team.

Perhaps this time Phil should proclaim that Lana Clarkson shot herself after struggling to endure just a few short hours alone with him and his greasy creep show.

Now THAT’S plausible!

After all I’m 40 … and if I were ever holed up and force-fed one of the over-told, over-sold anecdotes from this record fossil’s past, I’d end it all too.

Lets get real here… if we all bought into the crap that Spector was shoveling into the jury box, then Barbara Walters, Diane Sawyer, and Katie Couric should have lept off the Brooklyn Bridge decades ago!!!

No place for a women in her 40’s in showbiz? Puh-leeze! These three were just getting traction in their 40’s … their careers became juggernauts!

And what of Phil’s career?

Lets face the music. His wall of sound has been reduced to a wall of shame. And until we all meet again in a California courtroom to put this case to bed, beware ladies… because Lana Clarkson’s killer is still on the loose.